Health Care Value Chain Producer Purchaser And Provider
Guy has his 21st birthday.
At midnight he enters a bar and drinks large volumes of alcohol in a small amount of time.
Gets dropped off in a cab at our emergency department at 2am.
Vomits on our EMT.
Placed on a gurney in a monitored room to sleep it off.
At 6am I hear from the room, "Shut up you stupid monitors! Shut up!!! Stop beeping!"
...drunken pause...
"Wait. Don't shut up."
...drunken pause...
"If you shut up that means I'm dead."
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I will never bare my right nipple during the half-time show of the Super Bowl.
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I have a seven month old daughter. One of the things certain to make her smile is singing a simple children's song. She'll go from crying to laughing. Great for car rides.
I'm one of those people who constantly has some song going through my mind. I hear a couple notes or someone says a couple words and instantly a related song is going through my head.
The clerks phone at work chirps three tones when it rings. They just so happen to be the first three notes to the theme from Dallas. The 1980s television show with J.R. Ewing.
Recently I found myself at the head of the bed of a confused elderly lady in severe respiratory failure. I've given her medication to sedate and paralyze her. I'm intubating her. I hear myself quietly singing:
One two three
Four five six
Seven eight nine
Ten eleven twelve
And they all played games
At the ladybugs' picnic
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Your girlfriend is having her right buttock abscess drained by the doctor.
This is not the time to ride the hospital elevators and graffiti on the elevator walls.
There is a security camera. You will be seen by security. You will go to jail.
Although if you must decorate the walls I would appreciate:
"Dr. Winters gives good moderate sedation!"
Or perhaps something a little more eloquent.
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I got hit by a minivan while cycling yesterday.
His rearview mirror clipped my handlebars causing my wheel to turn out. I slid into then van and skidded along the ground to a stop. I recall thinking "there's the wheelwell...miss it."
I have some road rash to my right hand. Some bumps and bruises. Not too bad. It's still a bit cool here and the layers of clothing protected me pretty well.
It's a bit odd to see the undercarriage of a car while lying in the road.
I got up and looked in the minivan at the driver who had stopped at the stoplight just ahead.
He gestured at me. Then he drove off.
I just got a new digital camera. About the size of an Altoid box. Had it in my back shirt pocket.
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My back tire was wobbly. My seat scratched. Some scattered scratches on the frame. Thankfully I was a couple blocks away from the bike shop. I went in and they trued the back tire for free. This allowed me to finish my 25-mile workout.
I called the police and they said "Are you the guy with the digital camera?"
The Minivan driver had called them. He had told the officers he had tried to stop safely. He said he turned his bike eater around to help (run over me again?) but that I had already gone.
Four lane residential road with very little traffic. It took me a good 5 minutes to straighten myself and the bike out enough to ride again.
I thank him for his kindness.
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